Maine.

I'd like to go back there.
Please.
I know how everything was set up.
I didn't like it too much.
I miss the people.
I really loved that weather.

Off.

I'm off to Maine for a mission trip.
I'll be back at the end of the week.
My posts will be added once I return.


See ya!

Admit.

I admit to a lot.
I told you that.
I admit to not wanting you here.
I admit to being done with this all.
I admit to not wanting to go this week.
I admit that you ruined this.
I admit to a lot.

I admit that I don't miss you in my life.

Delayed.

By five hours.
This stinks.
Really bad.

Let's hope the rest of the week goes better.

Packing.

For the mission trip.
We load the truck at 7:00.
It's 5:37.
Talk about procrastination.
I have about an hour since it's a 15 minute ride to the church.
We leave tomorrow morning at 5:30.
People are sleeping over tonight.
I'm not too thrilled to be honest.
It never works.
I'm always alone in my own house.
I have someone who can defend that.
Or, who has seen me go through it.

I'm sure I'll get a lot of crap for not inviting you.
If I'm going to have one good night.
It'll be this one.
We will see how this goes.
I'll be back.

VBS.

I really miss it.
Really really miss it.
I miss all my kids.
I miss the skits.
I miss the crafts.
I miss feeling like a mini celeb.
I miss having a mic that doesn't work.
I miss the bible stories.
I miss seeing the kids sing.
I miss the kids reciting bible verses.
I miss the kids asking questions about God.
I miss kids telling me that they'll see me tomorrow.
Even today, on the last day.
I love Vacation Bible School with all my heart.
If you have never been active in one.
I suggest you do.
It'll really change you.
I miss it all.
Most of all.
I miss my Dean and Kylie.






I really do miss them all though.


To see young kids worship, in the way they know how.
Really, touches my heart.

Matthew 18:3
'And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."'

More.

Please sir, can I have some more?
No?
I'll do it myself, thanks.

Notice.

I've picked up on a habit.
The last couple times.
Have been Sundays.
Hm. Think about it.

Relapsing.

Yeah.
About that.

Really?

You, you, you.
It doesn't matter what, you always take attention.
You're not even supposed to be at practice.
YOU ARE NOT APART OF SKITS.
I don't care how obvious this is.
It's bothersome.
Talk about it.
I sat in the rain while you took the ride.
You walk. Every single day.
Why did you need a ride.
My mom got mad at me.
Why?
For that same reason.
Whatever.

Almost.

I almost, really want to give up my cell phone for this fast thing.
Legit.
I want more focus on God.
100%.

"I've never been a 100% on anything, and I think I'm awesome."

Haha.
Maybe not 100%, but as close I can to it.

I get to go on the mission trip, which means no phone.
That'll be fun.
Yay God.
Slap slap clap.

It's not even the people I talk to.
It's that I'll sit and text, instead of going out and about.
Going on walks, reading, focusing on God.

That seems to be mentioned a lot. Good.

We will see.

Torn.

It's really bothersome how the last week as been going.
Especially since it was the week before VBS.
Now, this week, is VBS.
VBS is Vacation Bible School, just to get you caught up.
I don't understand it.
If you don't want to help.
Or just want to goof.
Why come?
We have enough kids to worry about.
We don't need to be watching you too.
I know it isn't holy.
It's just.
Seriously?
One week of showing kids to God, and you still want attention?
We talked about it today in VBS.
Planting the good seed.
No, but you.
You. Are the weed, and I just.
kafjfdafjafd.
I can't say anything to anyone or it's another retreat.
Let's talk about her.
I love my voice of reason.
She's adorable.
I just. Am confused.
The weed just makes me want to drop everything.
Leave that red floored place behind.
A new place, a new church with God.
Then there are others, like.
Three people, I want to stay for.
That's it.
That weed just takes everything away.
So. Do I stay?
Do I leave?
Grin and bear it?
I know pray, I'm getting that done.
I just can't change the other people's view.

Missing.

I really miss drumline.
Well, not really the people in drumline.
The performance.
I miss strapping on the 40 some pound drums,
grabbing my four pairs of sticks,
and running.
Yeah. Running.
I miss it. I want it back.
I just, don't want the marching band part.
I really want to drum.
I always get these urges, around this time at night.
This time, meaning, too late at night.
I don't know which book I should start.
Blue Devils or Cavaliers.
I just want that thrill to perform.

Second.

A second blog?
Wait. What. Why?
I want one for faith, and one for everything else.
I'm not sure why.
I tried combining the two, and it didn't work.
So we will see how this goes.